Wife battery cannot be justified

Wife battery cannot be justified
By Editor
Saturday April 21, 2007 [04:00] Print

Wife battery, though making headlines in the last few days, is not a new phenomenon. This problem has been there since time immemorial. However, now that our women are getting more and more enlightened, they have started to bring out these barbaric acts by men who claim to be doing it in the name of love.

Previously, it was considered taboo for a woman to disclose to anyone, not even her mother or sisters, that she was being beaten by her husband. A woman who did that was considered unworthy because a worthy woman was expected to endure such beatings or physical harassment. It was said, as it is said today, that a man would occasionally - out of love - beat his wife when she did something wrong.

However, whatever the reasons, wife battery cannot be justified. In discussing this issue, we will rely heavily on the wise counsel found in the Holy Book, the Bible, because we realise that marriage is God's arrangement. God is the originator of marriage.

As it is stated in the Bible, when a man and woman marry, they cease to be two. They become one flesh. But this is not to say that there will be no problems or challenges in a marriage simply because the two have become one.

First Corinthians 7:28 warns that those who marry should never be surprised by trials; they will experience tribulation in the flesh just like Jesus did.

However, whenever challenges arise, the Bible advises husbands to imitate Jesus Christ's example of patience, love and firmness in upholding righteous principles. Husbands are encouraged to face marital challenges in a knowledgeable manner.

Rather than harshly dominate his wife, the Bible expects a husband to treat her as a prized possession, never using his greater physical strength to hurt her. He is expected to treat his wife with respect and dignity, assigning her the honour she deserves as a woman. This is what 1 Peter 3:7 states, that women are weaker vessels and are supposed to be handled as such.

But what about husbands who beat their wives in the name of love, as a way of demonstrating how much they feel for them? Well, men who do that simply show that they do not love their wives. They hate them.

The apostle Paul in Ephesians 5: 28,29, 33 states: "In this way, husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the congregation. Let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself."

These are thought-provoking words from the apostle Paul. Indeed, does a sane man ever intentionally injure his own body? Does a man beat his toe because it caused him to stumble? Does a husband humiliate himself before his friends?

If a sane and loving man cannot intentionally injure himself, why should he intentionally inflict excruciating pain on a woman he claims to love? Why should he cause such grievous bodily harm like Luckson Bemba of Lusaka did to his wife Musonda Manda?
Husbands are encouraged to be kind and loving to their wives but at the same time to be firm when it comes to discipline. They are encouraged to speak out appropriately whenever the need for correction arises.

If a wife is proving to be unfaithful, there is a way to resolve this problem without resorting to beatings. Instead of causing such injuries to his wife as Bemba did, a man can choose to divorce his unfaithful wife without causing acrimony or resorting to such
animal behaviour. After all, adultery is the only ground for divorce allowed in the Bible.

How can Bemba or indeed any other man justifiably claim to love his wife but at the same time inflict injury on her body? Can a sane man intentionally injure himself? How can a man enjoy living with a woman whose face he has disfigured?

Clearly, no man can justify wife battery, no matter how compelling his reasons for such action are. Wife battery is not only barbaric but it is also a sheer display of disrespect for God, the originator of marriage. And all those having no respect or regard for God, the Bible tells us, will not receive His favour.

Today, many marriages are more threatened than ever before. They are facing unprecedented challenges. But these challenges are not insurmountable. And if they are to be overcome, marriage partners need to reflect deeply on the origin of marriage, remembering that marriage is of divine origin, conceived and constituted by God. When differences arise, husbands and wives should always remember to settle them in accordance with the wishes of the One that instituted marriage. This can only be possible if marriage partners acquaint themselves with what the Bible says on this matter.