Sunday, May 11, 2008

Widow advises women to be self-reliant

Widow advises women to be self-reliant
By Mwila Chansa and Maluba Jere
Sunday May 11, 2008 [04:01]

MOTHERS should endeavor to be strong and be less dependent on relatives despite hard economic times, a 49 -year old Lusaka mother and widow, Emeldah Bwalya has advised. And former president Fredrick Chiluba’s wife Regina has said most children were being defiled because their mothers did not spend time with them. Meanwhile, a 25-year-old Lusaka mother of two, Mailesi Zulu has urged fellow mothers to love children regardless of whether they were theirs or not.

Commenting on Mothers’ Day which falls today, Bwalya said when she reflected on the past, she felt proud because she had managed to raise her children without depending on support from anyone.

“So, as we celebrate Mothers’ Day, I urge my fellow mothers to be strong and expand on the little that they have to raise their children. Being a widow is not the end of the world because there are children who need to be looked after,” Bwalya said.

She said mothers, as pillars of the family needed to work hard and earn enough to ensure that their children had enough to eat. Bwalya, who was found planting onion in her garden, added that for her, Mothers’ Day was a time to thank God for giving humanity the gift of the family.

“He (God) has given us parents and children and I feel we have to celebrate this day just as we go to Church to thank him for all he has done in our lives,” said Bwalya. She urged the government to continue supporting women in all their endeavors to ensure that they were empowered.

She said it was important for people to show love and respect to the womenfolk as they celebrated Mothers’ Day.

And Regina said Mothers’ Day was an important day as it recognised women as people who raise children. She advised mothers to tutor children in a manner that was pleasing if they were to grow up into responsible citizens.

“Mothers are expected to raise their children in a Christian way because the Bible says raise up a child in a way that it should go and when they are old, they will not depart from it,” Regina said. “It has now become a pattern for us parents to fear them children. But we must show leadership as mothers to our children.”

Regina said there was need to revisit tradition and ensure that good values, especially those bordering on dressing, were inculcated in children.

“Long ago, we used to have parents, guardians especially grandparents sitting down with children and telling them how to dress but that is not the case anymore.

If it’s there, then there are few cases,” she said. “Each household had a chitenge for a girl who came of age and she was told the importance and I think there is need to go back to those traditions.”

She said children must continue to speak out when they were being coerced or being touched in a manner they did not like by anyone, including relatives.
She advised women to reflect on issues that affected children as they celebrate Mothers’ Day.

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