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(NEWZIMBABWE) Mutambara: the new political douche

Mutambara: the new political douche
By: Yours In War, Razorman
Posted: Thursday, August 26, 2010 5:47 am

NELSON Chamisa is no longer Zimbabwe's biggest political douche after Professor Arthur Mutambara's advert in online media about conferring national hero status to former trade unionist, Gibson Sibanda. This must be the MDCs thousandth statement, covering no practical issues and offending everyone’s sense of reason and dignity.

For many Zimbabweans, the National Heroes Acre is hallowed ground; only reserved for those who fought the Chimurenga Wars. The era 1890-1980 was an epochal moment in the history of our people: who suffered and fought hard for their independence and self-determination.

We should all now forget the BP oil spill, and put a cap on Mutambara; whose self-destructive impulse has gone slightly overboard; and threatens to denigrate our struggle.

His weak-man arguments, if they are anything to go by, are tragic to say the least, although the professor is characteristically well known for unhinged mannerisms and warped logic.

Mutambara has proved himself far more interested in self-promotion than in reasoned debate. He may get lots more attention by treading on our heroes' legacy, but he does so at the risk of desecrating that hallowed ground; and finally putting the final nail on his political coffin.

I feel sorry for him though. As the pressure mounts ahead of expected elections, political passions are running high in the two MDCs. The two factions are outmocking each other in a battle of irreverent and irrelevant political agendas.

In a bid to explain himself after a barrage of criticisms for his suggestion, Mutambara said the establishment of an independent body, to determine national hero status, was one of the "24 outstanding issues" that were agreed by the principals merely waiting for implementation.

This is interesting. There are now more "outstanding issues" than the number of issues in the original Global Political Agreement!

He added: "We believe that in the fullness of time, Zimbabweans will be able to determine their national hero." What exactly does he mean by this meaningless statement?

He went on: "The DPM does not agree with Zanu-PF, we will push for the reforms." And why is he referring to himself in Third Person?

Juxtapose this incessant childish banter that characterises the MDCs, with President Mugabe's speech at the last Sadc Ordinary meeting, that earned him a standing ovation from past and current African leaders.

What would the two MDCs talk about at Sadc's 30th birthday? The conferement of national hero status on their supporters?

One wonders who would be interred at the national shrine, next to Cdes Josiah Tongogara, Dr Joshua Nkomo, Alfred Mangena, Simon Muzenda and many others if the "professor" was to win the next presidential election.

Maybe Tongai Moyo or the Big-Brother heroine, Makosi, who embarassed herself looking bloated in a Union Jack mini-dress on British TV. Using the professor's reasoning, these two might as well easily be considered by the two MDCs for conferement.

The National Heroes' Acre is a war shrine; not some sick joke as the professor would want us to believe. The bones of real heroes -- who sacrificed their lives fighting the evil racist imperialists -- are interred at that shrine.

That is the reason why that shrine exists. For guerillas. If the MDC wants its own shrine, it should build one, not force Zanu-PF to bury MDC supporters at a national shrine.

Determining who a hero is should never be some narcissistic act, or some slefish longing for attention when one feels unimportant or when their position is threatened.

When I first heard the news I thought the DPM had had a full bottle Pinot Noir; otherwise how could he brew such a shocker. Even his critics expressed befuddlement when they heard the news. They were in shock.

But then again, I thought it must be difficult to come up with a serious political agenda when your age, such a young age, is higher than your political approval rating.

The interesting thing about Mutambara's call was that barely a day before, he had told SW Radio that "We do not always have to run to the media with important stories of concern". Why he chose to run with this one to the media, simply smacks of a longing for attention; or maybe he simply believes it's not a "story of concern".

The idle and lazy online media was quick to pick that ridiculous suggestion by Mutambara and run with it; as if Zimbabwe had no serious politcal goings-on.

The death of any human being is regrettable. Sibanda's death is sad indeed. He was a Zimbabwean politician; but to confer him hero status is tantamount to making a mockery of our liberation struggle.

Mutambara needs not set himself up for failure like this. At the rate he is going, only Harry Potter’s magic can save him now! Surely Harry can outwit the powerful forces of evil that suck MDC leaders into the black hole of idle thinking.

Yours in War, Razorman.

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Razorman is a new Zimbabwe Guardian commentator. He writes whenever he sees something funny in the Zimbabwean political theatre.

Labels: ARTHUR MUTAMBARA, NELSON CHAMISA

posted by MrK @ 5:15 PM