Maravi

GBM should be ashamed

GBM should be ashamed
By The Post
Sun 12 Sep. 2010, 04:00 CAT

Conflict is a natural part of human relations. By conflict, we mean a difference of opinion about how things should be handled or done. We also mean varying views about how situations or indeed even resources should be handled.

It is natural for even the most accommodating friends and relations to have differences. It is therefore important that we all learn how to handle conflict in such a way that society is able to function properly.

From the time we are born, we are trained in one way or the other to handle conflict. Babies cry to get the attention of their mother and therefore get whatever it is that they need. Children are impatient about their demands. They want everything now; they cannot wait, and they want it all their way. This is what defines their existence at that stage in their lives. And as adults, we deal with children with an understanding of the limitations that they have because of the stage at which they are in their development. We take the opportunity to teach them stage by stage how to behave and what not to do. This is normal in dealing with children.

But we have problems when adults begin to behave like children. When an adult believes that he or she always has to get his or her way and it is okay to throw a temper tantrum regardless of where that might lead, then there is a huge problem. Such an adult, although adult in body, may actually be a baby trapped in a fully grown person’s body.

Unfortunately, this is what we see in the behaviour of Lusak, grandmother, sister and daughter to somebody. This is a person that is supposed ta businessman Geoffrey Bwalya Mwamba, otherwise known as GBM. This man comes across as a person who has failed to learn the discipline of containing his emotions and appetites. It is wrong for a person of his age to resort to violence against his wife over domestic differences. It is even more disastrous that such a person was an elected representative of the people of Kasama. That in itself should have told him that his behaviour ought to be exemplary. Resorting to wife battering can never be justifiable under any circumstances. GBM’s wife is a grown woman, a mothero mean the most to GBM and yet he chooses to deal with her as if she were rubbish. That behaviour speaks volumes about GBM’s inner being. There is something wrong with this man. It seems violence replaces his ability to communicate every time he has a problem. He has a childish and reckless belief that violence is excusable because of who he is. We say this because it is not the first time that GBM has been involved in violence. It looks like to him, it is normal to fight. But this is not acceptable human behaviour. It seems even workers have been brutalised by him. It would appear GBM has never learnt any self-control.

The violence that GBM meted against his wife has given an appropriate, if not unfortunate, opportunity to condemn this shameful practice that still haunts our society. There are men who believe that they are entitled to control their wives or even girlfriends by any means possible. And violence is just one of them. Violence against another human being should never be condoned, but worse still, violence against a defenseless wife should never be accepted. GBM humiliated his wife, his children, his own family by this foolish behaviour and yet from the way he is going about issues, he does not seem to be remorseful at all. GBM believes he is entitled to this kind of behaviour. We should realise that the violence that GBM meted against his wife was not only an offence against Mrs Mwamba. It is also an offence against society. When people brutalise their wives, they brutalise society as well. They leave scars on those women and their children that come to haunt society in years to come.

There is a good reason for society to abhor this shameful and anti-social behaviour.

It is good that for whatever reason - and it seems that childish ego is not far from it - GBM has decided to resign from politics. We say it is good because a person who can inflict such violence against his wife, a person he is supposed to love, defend and care for, cannot be expected to love society. It demonstrates that his involvement in politics may be driven by the same childish ego that has led him to resign. In other words, GBM by his conduct has proved that he can never be a servant of the people.

It is good that his party decided to suspend him as soon as these matters became public. We say this because it is not right for political parties to impose leaders upon our people who are given to anti-social. It is not always that political parties move against their senior members when they conduct themselves in shameful ways. In fact, more often than not, politicians tend to protect each other and hide behind the notion that whatever those problems are, they are private. There is nothing private about wife battering. This is something that we all must condemn in the strongest terms possible. In fact, as a newspaper, we have included in our disciplinary code the offence of spouse battering. This offence renders the offender liable to instant dismissal. We will not condone violence against spouses regardless of who is involved. We are a private entity and therefore, we believe that the obligation on public leaders is even higher than what is ours.

There is a tendency in our society to believe that people’s anti-social behaviour can be separated from their performance as leaders. In other words, we seem to believe that somebody can be scandalous and despicable in their private lives and yet be able to perform in a leadership position. If somebody cannot manage their behaviour, how can they be a leader?

There is also a worrying trend of Rupiah Banda’s government turning everything into politics, even if it means condoning violence and other illegal activities from people that are close to him.

We have in mind here a number of instances where Rupiah has appeared impotent to take action against his people who do wrong things. Not very long ago, we carried a picture in the paper of Gastone Sichilima, a deputy minister in the Office of the Vice-President at the time, engaged in a fist fight with a member of the public. Rupiah and his shameful government did nothing about that. They were quiet. To them, it was normal for a government minister to engage in violence as long as they thought it advanced their political ends. To this day, not even the police took an interest in that matter. No one was arrested or even questioned. We have no doubt that if Gastone had been an opposition member of parliament, disgraced Inspector General of Police Francis Kabonde would have been quick to act.

There is also the case of Solomon Musonda who shot a person. It took Rupiah and his minions ages to decide to have this man arrested. Even when he was arrested, they did everything to give him preferential treatment. Instead of charging him with attempted murder, they found some silly charge to give him. His treatment by the police was also different to what they routinely give to those that they consider their enemies. What about the case of losing MMD Mufumbwe by-election candidate Mulondwe Muzungu’s son? Again, although that poor boy killed people in a road accident, it took unnecessarily long for anything to be done. The only reason that they were not able to move, as they do when its opposition members, was because of politics. It is wrong for the government to do things whose effect is to condone wrong behaviour.

This is why we say that it is good that GBM’s party decided to take the difficult decision of acting against one of their senior members. What GBM did is not defensible under any circumstances. It should also help us to take a clear position against violence of any type.

We do not believe, however, that Rupiah believes that violence is wrong. We say this because we now have enough instances where Rupiah has given equivocal comments on questions of violence, not least against this newspaper and its reporters. It is not too long ago that William Banda issued threats of violence against this newspaper. No marks will be given for guessing what has happened to William Banda for issuing those threats because it is obvious that nothing will be done or could be done. William Banda’s violent forays are executed under the protection and blessing of Rupiah himself.

As for GBM, he should be ashamed of himself. It is time for him to grow up. If he cannot respect himself, at least he should respect his children whose mother he batters.

Labels: GBM, GEOFFREY MWAMBA, PF

posted by MrK @ 2:50 AM