Maravi

Blaming others for our failures

Blaming others for our failures
By Editor
Fri 06 Nov. 2009, 04:00 CAT

It doesn’t make sense for Rupiah Banda and his minions to blame The Post for his problems. Rupiah is responsible for what is happening to him and what is going on in the country.

Rupiah has to accept that what is happening to him and to the country is a product of the sins he has committed against himself and the nation. If he accepts it as such, he will understand that it is up to him to do something about it. Rupiah cannot blame The Post for everything bad that is happening to him and in the nation, not only because it would be untrue but also because it would blunt the duty that he faces today as president of the Republic to act reasonably and quickly.

And Ludwig Sondashi is right when he says that Rupiah should not use The Post as a scapegoat for his failures. How has The Post caused Rupiah’s failures? All that The Post has done is to expose and criticise the wrong decisions and doings of Rupiah and his minions. There can be no doubt, of course, that criticism is good for people and institutions that are part of public life. No institution should expect to be free from the scrutiny of those who give it their loyalty and support, not to mention those who don’t.

Blaming others for our faults and problems is unjust, cruel, and displeases God. When things go wrong, we tend to look around for someone that we can hold responsible for our difficulty. In the magnificent Book of Exodus, we read that the children of Israel did this in the wilderness shortly after their deliverance from the land of Egypt. When they encountered a shortage of water, and when they saw that they would not have enough food, they panicked and blamed Moses and Aaron for getting them into their predicament. “The whole Israelite community complained against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness” (Exodus 16:2). While God mercifully overlooked their lack of faith and unfair criticism of His servants in these two incidents, when the Israelites later committed the same sin, He judged them severely (Numbers 16).

We need to remember, however, that when we blame others for our own problems, we are not only hurting the innocent victims toward whom we point our accusing fingers, but ourselves as well. By blaming others, we fail to acknowledge our own personal failures, and thereby rob ourselves the opportunity to repent, to learn from our mistakes, and to ask for help. The moment we blame another for something which is our personal responsibility, we do nothing less than condemn ourselves to repeat our mistake.

When we see things more clearly, we come to understand that no person stands taller in the sight of God and his fellow man than does the one who acknowledges his error, who asks for forgiveness, and expresses a need for help lest the mistake be repeated. No person ever won a victory in the personal struggle for perfection by pointing a finger in the direction of another. We are told, however, that acceptance of personal responsibility for even a small error in judgment causes all the heavenly host to rejoice on our behalf. If we must point a finger, therefore, let it be at ourselves.

The tendency to fault others for our own failures can spread like a virus. We are all today worried about the H1N1 virus, so it is worth noting that researchers have found yet another unfortunate condition is highly communicable: blame.

Observing someone blame another for their failure or lack of success increased the likelihood that people would make subsequent blame attributions for their own, unrelated failures. Deflating responsibility, in other words, is infectious – but there appears to be an effective inoculation.

When people blame others for their mistakes, they learn less and perform worse.

Rupiah and his minions should realise that taking responsibility for mistakes sets a tone for accountability; blaming The Post for their mistakes, failures can start a cascade of castigation. In fact it has already started as can be evidenced by Sondashi and George Mpombo’s reactions or comments.

Rupiah may not be aware but it is true that he is responsible for his failures. He is the author of all that is happening to him, the creator of his reality, the master of his thoughts and the controller of his actions. Every event and every moment of his reality is created by him, through his own actions and thoughts.

If Rupiah thinks negatively, or indulges in negative actions, he should be assured that he will face negative forces in his political life. If he thinks positively and acts positively, he is bound to attract positive forces in his political life and enjoy the abundance of happiness. If one’s attitude is to do things which are going to please the community, the nation and human beings, then one is likely to go to bed every night feeling happy that one has done some service to the community. The important thing is to give happiness to people.

If one knows this, one accepts responsibility for everything that happens to him. One will not blame anyone or any force for one’s failures and disappointments. People have the tendency to blame others for the problems in their lives, in their work, little realising that others have no power over them unless they willingly permit themselves to be influenced by others. We have the capacity to guide our lives, our work and control our situations. If we do not exercise this power and allow ourselves to become helpless or lethargic, the blame lies with us but not with any external agent.

Rupiah’s life, work is his responsibility and not of The Post. Rupiah has the freedom to choose the best options he has in any given circumstances, to choose the correct response as well as the right action. So if something goes wrong, instead of blaming The Post, Rupiah should look within himself and find out what has gone wrong, what went wrong. Find out what decisions or actions of his caused it.

Failure, disappointments and despair are indications that there are some elements in Rupiah which are demanding self-correction and improvement. If Rupiah can identify the cause within himself, he will be likely to put a permanent end to the troubling factor. If Rupiah is failing mostly in his actions, he must realise that it is because of a deficiency in his decisions and actions.

When Rupiah starts to look into himself for possible causes of his failures and disappointments and stops blaming The Post, he will be likely to make them his allies in the drama of his political life.
Rupiah and his minion’s desperation may lead them to taking very desperate measures against The Post that will land them in more trouble than they already have. Desperate people do desperate things. It is desperate people that commit atrocities. Out of desperation, some have killed others. Desperation leads to personal enslavement. And this is why it is said that a free man, when he fails, blames nobody.

The problems that Rupiah is today facing are truly not a creation of The Post. Even if The Post was to be annihilated today, Rupiah’s problems will continue and probably even become worse. The only thing that can change the situation is for Rupiah to change his ways, to move away from wrongdoing and start to do the right things in an honest and transparent manner. If Rupiah does this even if The Post hated him, it will have serious difficulties criticising him because the people will come to his defence.

The Post is able to denounce or criticise Rupiah today simply because the public can see the justification for it; they can see the truth in The Post’s criticism. The only decent or honourable way out of this is for Rupiah to do that which is right and remove the cause for this dissention.

False accusations, unjustified criticism against Rupiah can never be sustained by The Post or anyone else for that matter. We do not enjoy haranguing Rupiah every day but we do so out of duty and not pleasure. We would be the happiest people if Rupiah changed his ways and started to serve the Zambian people heart and soul and proceeding on every issue on the basis of the people’s interests and not personal enrichment or glory.

Changing Rupiah’s leadership style to reflect this reality is certainly a worthy try. But if it proves disastrous, he shouldn’t again blame us.

Labels: RUPIH

posted by MrK @ 6:45 AM