Maravi

Deeper reflection on the family

Deeper reflection on the family
Mon 17 Sep. 2012, 10:20 CAT

Bishop George Lungu's call for deeper reflection on the life of the family deserves a favourable response from all of us.

The family is the sanctuary of life and a vital cell of society. It is here that the features of a people take shape; it is here that its members acquire basic teachings. They learn to love inasmuch as they are unconditionally loved, they learn respect for others inasmuch as they are respected. Whenever these fundamental experiences are lacking, society as a whole suffers violence and becomes in turn a progenitor of more violence.

The family is the best setting for learning and applying the culture of tolerance. In a healthy family life, we experience some of the fundamental elements of peace: justice and love between brothers and sisters, the role of authority expressed by parents, loving concern for the members who are weaker because of youth, sickness or old age, mutual help in the necessities of life, readiness to accept others. For this reason, the family is the first and indispensable teacher of love, tolerance and peace. By virtue of its central importance and the various threats looming over it - distortion of the very notion of marriage and family, devaluation of maternity, easy divorce and the relativism of a new ethics - the family needs to be protected and defended, so that it may offer society the service expected of it, that of providing men and women capable of building a social fabric of peace and harmony.

In our way of life, the elderly are held in particular veneration. They are not banished from families or marginalised as in other cultures. On the contrary, they are esteemed and perfectly integrated within their families, of which they are indeed the pinnacle. This beautiful appreciation of old age should inspire everyone to treat the elderly with greater dignity. Sacred scripture speaks frequently of the elderly. "Rich in experience is the crown of the aged, and their boast is the fear of the Lord" (Sirach 25:6). Old age, despite the frailty which seems to accompany it, is a gift that should be lived each day in serene openness to God and neighbour. It is also a time of wisdom, since length of years teaches one the grandeur and fragility of life. As a man of faith, the elderly Simeon with joy and wisdom offers not a sorrowful farewell to life but rather a song of thanksgiving to the saviour of the world (Luke 2:25-32).
It is because of this wisdom, sometimes obtained at a high price, that the elderly can influence the family in a variety of ways. Their experience naturally leads them not only to bridge the generation gap, but also to affirm the need for mutual support. They are an enrichment for all elements of the family, especially for children who find in them understanding and love. Not only have they given life, but they contribute by their actions to building up their family (Tit 2:2-5).

In many parts of our nation, stability and social order are still frequently entrusted to elders or chiefs. Through this structure, the elderly can contribute effectively to building a more just, fair and humane society which evolves, not only on the basis of whatever experiences happen to come its way, but gradually and with a prudent equilibrium. The elderly are thus able to participate in the reconciliation of individuals and communities through their wisdom and experience.

We should therefore, in all our families, regard the elderly with great esteem. A society that does not value its older people denies its roots and endangers its future.

In the family, men have received a particular mission. In their role as husbands and fathers, they exercise the noble responsibility of giving society the values it needs through marriage and the raising of children. And our women make a great contribution to the family, to society by their many talents and unique gifts. As John Paul II once observed, "Woman is the one in whom the order of love in the created world of persons takes first root." We need women to take their full place in the life of our nation so that our people can live without completely losing their humanity.

While it is undeniable that progress has been made towards the advancement of women and their education, it remains the case that, overall, women's dignity and rights as well as their essential contribution to the family and to society have not been fully acknowledged or appreciated. Thus women and girls are afforded fewer opportunities than men and boys. There are still too many practices that debase and degrade women. We need to combat all acts of violence against women. We need to speak out and condemn such acts whenever and wherever we hear of them. We must recognise, affirm and defend the equal dignity of man and woman: they are both persons, utterly unique among all the human beings found in the world. Unfortunately, the evolution of ways of thinking in this area is much too slow. Giving women opportunities to make their voice heard and to express their talents through initiatives which reinforce their worth, their self-esteem and their uniqueness would enable them to occupy a place in society equal to that of men - without confusing or conflating the specific character of each. Women will thus contribute to the humanising of society. We count on them to create a human ecology through their sympathetic love, their friendly and thoughtful demeanour, and finally through mercy, values that they know how to instil in their children, values that the nation so badly needs.

And when we talk about the family, we should not forget the fact that young people make up the majority of our country's population. Young people should be loved, esteemed and respected. Youth is a time when genuine and irrepressible questions arise about the meaning of life and the direction our own lives should take. Concern for young people calls for courage and clarity in the message we proclaim; we need to help young people to gain confidence in themselves.

In his Rule, St Benedict asks the abbot of the monastery to listen to the youngest monks. As he says: "It is often to a younger brother that the Lord reveals the best course." So we should make every effort to involve young people directly in the life of society so that they do not fall prey to feelings of frustration and rejection in the face of their inability to shape their own future, especially in those situations where young people are vulnerable due to lack of education, unemployment, political exploitation and various kinds of addiction.

And enticements of all kinds may tempt young people: backward political outlooks, sects, money, drugs, casual sex, violence and so on and so forth. We urge them to be vigilant and to be aware that those who propose these things to them want to destroy their future. In spite of difficulties, we urge them not to be discouraged and not to give up their ideals, their hard work and their commitment to human, intellectual and spiritual formation. We urge them to cultivate a yearning for fraternity, justice and peace. The future is in the hands of those who find powerful reasons to live and to hope if they want it. The future is in their hands.

Like young people, children are also a precious gift, and they must be the object of particular concern on the part of their families, society and government, for they are a source of hope and renewed life. And this being the case, how can we fail to deplore and forcefully denounce the intolerable treatment to which many of our children are subjected?

Labels: FAMILIES

posted by MrK @ 2:33 PM