Deeper reflection on the family
Mon 17 Sep. 2012, 10:20 CAT
Bishop George Lungu's call for deeper reflection on the life of the family deserves a favourable response from all of us.
The family is the sanctuary of life and a vital cell of society. It is here that the features of a people take shape; it is here that its members acquire basic teachings. They learn to love inasmuch as they are unconditionally loved, they learn respect for others inasmuch as they are respected. Whenever these fundamental experiences are lacking, society as a whole suffers violence and becomes in turn a progenitor of more violence.
The family is the best setting for learning and applying the culture of tolerance. In a healthy family life, we experience some of the fundamental elements of peace: justice and love between brothers and sisters, the role of authority expressed by parents, loving concern for the members who are weaker because of youth, sickness or old age, mutual help in the necessities of life, readiness to accept others. For this reason, the family is the first and indispensable teacher of love, tolerance and peace. By virtue of its central importance and the various threats looming over it - distortion of the very notion of marriage and family, devaluation of maternity, easy divorce and the relativism of a new ethics - the family needs to be protected and defended, so that it may offer society the service expected of it, that of providing men and women capable of building a social fabric of peace and harmony.
In our way of life, the elderly are held in particular veneration. They are not banished from families or marginalised as in other cultures. On the contrary, they are esteemed and perfectly integrated within their families, of which they are indeed the pinnacle. This beautiful appreciation of old age should inspire everyone to treat the elderly with greater dignity. Sacred scripture speaks frequently of the elderly. "Rich in experience is the crown of the aged, and their boast is the fear of the Lord" (Sirach 25:6). Old age, despite the frailty which seems to accompany it, is a gift that should be lived each day in serene openness to God and neighbour. It is also a time of wisdom, since length of years teaches one the grandeur and fragility of life. As a man of faith, the elderly Simeon with joy and wisdom offers not a sorrowful farewell to life but rather a song of thanksgiving to the saviour of the world (Luke 2:25-32).
It is because of this wisdom, sometimes obtained at a high price, that the elderly can influence the family in a variety of ways. Their experience naturally leads them not only to bridge the generation gap, but also to affirm the need for mutual support. They are an enrichment for all elements of the family, especially for children who find in them understanding and love. Not only have they given life, but they contribute by their actions to building up their family (Tit 2:2-5).
In many parts of our nation, stability and social order are still frequently entrusted to elders or chiefs. Through this structure, the elderly can contribute effectively to building a more just, fair and humane society which evolves, not only on the basis of whatever experiences happen to come its way, but gradually and with a prudent equilibrium. The elderly are thus able to participate in the reconciliation of individuals and communities through their wisdom and experience.
We should therefore, in all our families, regard the elderly with great esteem. A society that does not value its older people denies its roots and endangers its future.
In the family, men have received a particular mission. In their role as husbands and fathers, they exercise the noble responsibility of giving society the values it needs through marriage and the raising of children. And our women make a great contribution to the family, to society by their many talents and unique gifts. As John Paul II once observed, "Woman is the one in whom the order of love in the created world of persons takes first root." We need women to take their full place in the life of our nation so that our people can live without completely losing their humanity.
While it is undeniable that progress has been made towards the advancement of women and their education, it remains the case that, overall, women's dignity and rights as well as their essential contribution to the family and to society have not been fully acknowledged or appreciated. Thus women and girls are afforded fewer opportunities than men and boys. There are still too many practices that debase and degrade women. We need to combat all acts of violence against women. We need to speak out and condemn such acts whenever and wherever we hear of them. We must recognise, affirm and defend the equal dignity of man and woman: they are both persons, utterly unique among all the human beings found in the world. Unfortunately, the evolution of ways of thinking in this area is much too slow. Giving women opportunities to make their voice heard and to express their talents through initiatives which reinforce their worth, their self-esteem and their uniqueness would enable them to occupy a place in society equal to that of men - without confusing or conflating the specific character of each. Women will thus contribute to the humanising of society. We count on them to create a human ecology through their sympathetic love, their friendly and thoughtful demeanour, and finally through mercy, values that they know how to instil in their children, values that the nation so badly needs.
And when we talk about the family, we should not forget the fact that young people make up the majority of our country's population. Young people should be loved, esteemed and respected. Youth is a time when genuine and irrepressible questions arise about the meaning of life and the direction our own lives should take. Concern for young people calls for courage and clarity in the message we proclaim; we need to help young people to gain confidence in themselves.
In his Rule, St Benedict asks the abbot of the monastery to listen to the youngest monks. As he says: "It is often to a younger brother that the Lord reveals the best course." So we should make every effort to involve young people directly in the life of society so that they do not fall prey to feelings of frustration and rejection in the face of their inability to shape their own future, especially in those situations where young people are vulnerable due to lack of education, unemployment, political exploitation and various kinds of addiction.
And enticements of all kinds may tempt young people: backward political outlooks, sects, money, drugs, casual sex, violence and so on and so forth. We urge them to be vigilant and to be aware that those who propose these things to them want to destroy their future. In spite of difficulties, we urge them not to be discouraged and not to give up their ideals, their hard work and their commitment to human, intellectual and spiritual formation. We urge them to cultivate a yearning for fraternity, justice and peace. The future is in the hands of those who find powerful reasons to live and to hope if they want it. The future is in their hands.
Like young people, children are also a precious gift, and they must be the object of particular concern on the part of their families, society and government, for they are a source of hope and renewed life. And this being the case, how can we fail to deplore and forcefully denounce the intolerable treatment to which many of our children are subjected?
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Matale links strife to broken homes
By Moses Kuwema
Mon 17 Sep. 2012, 10:20 CAT
COUNCIL of Churches in Zambia general secretary Reverend Suzanne Matale says families are the most important units not only in the church but the world over. Commenting on Chipata Diocese Bishop George Lungu's call for deeper reflection on the life of the family, Rev Matale said life starts within the family.
"That's why families must be stable and loving because love is one of those important elements of peace. Peace begins at home in families and then this is expressed now from families to communities. At the end of the day, we will be talking about the country," she said.
Rev Matale said the reason why there was so much strife in the world today was because of too many broken homes.
She said as a result there were too many children from broken homes who were just growing without a proper family foundation and background.
"So really children are growing up without values because nobody is there to teach these children. I think he is Bishop Lungu spot on to say that family is the most important unit, not only in church but in the world and everywhere," said Rev Matale.
Delivering his sermon during mass which opened the 75th Jubilee Anniversary commemoration at St Anne's Cathedral on Thursday, Bishop Lungu said the church in the diocese needs to thank God for the blessings it was still receiving.
He also praised God for the gift of Christian families that the church had received for the past 75 years.
"We know that through the families, God has blessed us in so many ways. God had blessed His church with a lot of gifts. The church has received the gift of children of Ecclesia so that the number of the church members could improve. It has also received various leaders at various levels, the Bishops come from the family, priests come from the family, sisters, brothers, catechists and various leaders come from the family," said Bishop Lungu.
Labels: FAMILIES, SUZANNE MATALE
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COMMENT -
Hamududu said currently the population was growing at a fast rate, which the economy could not sustain. - then the economy should grow faster. If a mere 11 million people is too much for these politicians to deal with, they should step down and let someone less incomepetent have a go at it. The problem is that Zambia is underdeveloped, not that the population is too large.
UPND MP calls for defined family size
Written by Gillian Namungala
Saturday, November 22, 2008 8:55:50 AM
BWEENGWA UPND member of parliament Highvie Hamududu has stressed the need for Zambia and other African countries to define the family size. In an interview, Hamududu said the economy could be sustained and controlled if the family size were defined.
"Zambia and Africa in general needs to come out clear on the carrying capacity of the economy in relation with the population and economic empowerment," he said.
Hamududu said currently the population was growing at a fast rate, which the economy could not sustain.
He said the failure by Zambia and Africa to define the family size would have a negative impact on the economy.
"A family size should be defined across the board whether rich or poor so that we arrest the population explosion and increase economic gains," he said.
Hamududu cited China, which had a population of over a billion as one country that had managed to control its population and economy.
"China has the biggest population but government and families are able to plan, look after their offspring and afford quality education," Hamududu said. "My call is that government must take the bull by its horn and aim to chop the population."
He said it was unfortunate that the current economic growth had not improved people's living standards.
Hamududu said Zambia should respond to the calls by top economists who had suggested that African countries define the family size.
"Zambia must as well forget to grow economically if the number of children in a family is not clearly defined," he said.
Hamududu suggested that the family size should be reduced to three or four.
Labels: FAMILIES, HIGHVIE HAMUDUDU, POPULATION CONTROL, UPND
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'Stable families create a strong nation'
By Editor
Friday May 16, 2008 [04:00]
Commemorating the International Day of families yesterday, many thoughts ran through our minds. The first thing that came to mind was the plight of the children on the street. And the other was the sexually abused child. These are issues which were yesterday eloquently talked about by our Minister of Community Development and Social Services, Catherine Namugala, and United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon.
Namugala urged fathers to cherish and take care of the family unit. She also urged fathers to play their role if this nation has to develop.
Namugala called on Zambians to avoid divorce, streetism and child neglect. She says it’s only by having stable families that we can create a strong nation.
We fully agree with Namugala. And without trying to sound like priests speaking from their pulpits, we are not and cannot be against the right to divorce, but we wish that there were more stability in the family, so the less divorce, the better. We say this because stability really helps the children who are the ones most affected and it helps the individual, for instance, to control one’s instincts. Nothing is gained by exacerbating them.
We also share the concerns raised by Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon on domestic violence and sexual abuse. It is true that some fathers inflict domestic violence or even sexual abuse, devastating families and creating profound physical and emotional scars in children.
It is very sad that although reports of child defilement are occurring on almost a daily basis from nearly all parts of our country, very little appears to be put in place to protect children from such abominable abuse. What we should realise is that this repugnant behaviour of clearly heartless men has long-term effects on children, sometimes even fatal.
There have been reports of children not only getting infected with sexually transmitted diseases but some of them have died from such infections which have been as a result of sexual abuse, in some cases from very close relatives. Not only are the physical effects grave on abused children, as in the case where they acquire diseases such as STIs, but these children have to live with the pain of knowing that someone cruel enough not to care about their tenderness abused them.
And available statistics regarding child defilement in this country are not in any way impressive. Clearly, there is a huge battle that has to be fought and won on behalf of our children who are on a daily basis exposed to abuse by men who lack respect for life.
Everyone has a duty to make it a point that children are protected from any form of abuse. It is especially important that children are protected from defilement because such abuse destroys their lives, it leaves a permanent scar on their minds.
Children are a precious gift from God, the giver of life. This being the case, children deserve to be nurtured and loved by everyone, not just their parents. This is very important because the existence of any society is dependent on the smallest unit called the family.
The family is basically a group consisting of one or two parents and their children. Therefore, it can be said that societies are built by families. And the nature or character of society will largely depend on the nature or characters of the various families in that particular society.
What we are saying in short is that good families are more likely to form good societies just like bad ones are expected to form bad societies. That is why it is particularly important to pay more than the usual attention to the way children are cared for from the time they are born.
This is out of the realisation that a home must be built on solid foundation in the same way people do not normally build houses on water. Of course, building a child into a responsible citizen or adult requires a lot of work on the part of parents.
They have to inculcate good morals into their children as well as to teach them everything about life and living. When a child is well inducted into life, he or she will learn to be independent and to survive the storms of life.
For such a child, home will be where life is found in all its fullness. Home will be the place where this child will feel most contented, regardless of the location. On the other hand, a child who is not properly initiated into life by his or her parents will never know the importance of building good societies.
Such a child will be like one who is carried on the back and does not therefore know how far the journey is. Such a child will not be able to gauge how far it has travelled because it has not undertaken the journey itself. There is a lot that parents and guardians alike are expected to do in responsibly raising their children for the benefit of society.
Parents are expected to expose their children to good health facilities and provide them with good education so as to prepare them for future challenges and economically empower them.
Parents are also supposed to provide for their children materially. Therefore, it will be expecting too much to anticipate that children who lack these things can grow into good citizens to build a strong and admirable society. It cannot be denied that there is a general breakdown of families in our society for various reasons.
This is a direct result of the manner in which many families are bringing up their children. Is it any wonder then that today we have an unprecedented number of street children and many other vulnerable children in various orphanages across the country?
It is said that to give birth to children is to add on to oneself, and to society. As children grow up, parents are able to delegate some work to their children. In this way, children are perceived as an extension of their parents. Probably, that is why it is said that the youth of today is the leadership of tomorrow.
However, if the youth are poorly brought up, we can only expect poor leadership from them because one is only able to give what they have. If the youth of today are tomorrow's leaders, there is need, not only for parents, but also the youths themselves, to ensure that proper investment in such youths is done for thegood of the future.
The children or youths also have a great role to play by ensuring that they fully apply themselves at school, college or university. Today's world is fast changing. Without good education, it is impossible for anyone to be meaningful to themselves and society in general.
Therefore, much emphasis should be placed on good education because everything starts and ends with education. The world has seen how educated young men and women globally have greatly contributed to the development of science and technology in the last century. And of course, we all know that life, or everything we do on earth, is essentially centred around science and technology.
So the importance of good education in this regard cannot be over-stated. For anyone with good education, the sky is the limit. But for the less or not educated ones, there is very little they can do. In most cases, they end up being beggars up to the time they go to the grave. So let us all learn to care for our children. If we do not do this, we will have no society to talk about tomorrow.
We shouldn’t forget that the individual does best in a strong and decent community of people with principles and standards, common aims and values.
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Namugala urges fathers to take care of families
By Masuzyo Chakwe
Friday May 16, 2008 [04:00]
COMMUNITY development minister Catherine Namugala has urged fathers to cherish society's human unit, the family, by taking care of it. And United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon has observed that some fathers inflict domestic violence or even sexual abuse, devastating families and creating profound physical and emotional scars in children.
Commenting on the International Day of Families which fell yesterday under the theme ‘Fathers and Families: Responsibility and Challenges', Namugala urged fathers to ensure that they were involved in all matters pertinent to their families.
"Do not just leave this to the womenfolk. Be involved in family well-being. Where possible, escort your children to the clinic and wife to antenatal clinic, be interested in the children's schoolwork, what they are going to eat and their other needs.
I urge all fathers to play their role. If this nation has to develop, fathers need to stand up and play their role in the family. This is key to sustainable national development of our country," Namugala said.
She said the institution of the family was the first and most important socialising institution where shelter and security were to be found when facing difficulties in life.
Namugala said fathers were crucial to the family members' integration into the community life, especially children.
"The presence of a father is a precondition for a stable family, just as their absence can often cause vulnerability and eventually unstable society. It is only by having stable families that we can create a strong nation," Namugala said.
She said the problem of child delinquency and children taking to the streets was partly a result of the missing role of fathers.
Namugala said although some children had fathers, they were not available to protect and manage the family.
She said the role of fathers had also been faced with a lot of challenges such as the HIV/AIDS pandemic, which had either left the family vulnerable due to the death or prolonged illness of the bread winner.
Namugala said fathers had also been challenged by unemployment leading to poverty and lack of access to basic needs.
She said on the other hand, some families had been challenged by lack of responsibility by their male head of the house.
"Although certain fathers are in gainful economic activities, they do not take care of their families. Instead they emotionally and physically abuse them," she said.
Namugala called on Zambians to avoid divorce, streetism and child neglect.
She urged the government and non-governmental organisations implementing programmes on the family not to leave out fathers' involvement.
And Ban said many men had difficulty assuming the responsibilities of fatherhood. He said other fathers abandoned their families outright and failed to provide support.
Ban said traditionally, in many societies, fathers had been moral teachers, disciplinarians and breadwinners.
"In many countries, there is now an increased emphasis on the father's role as a co-parent, fully engaged in the emotional and practical day-to-day aspects of raising children," he said.
Ban said this was an opportunity for men to re-envision imaginatively what it meant to be a father and to see opportunities to make a difference in communities.
Ban said at international level, migration forced many fathers to often face separation from their families, consequently being rejected by their children as they grew up.
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